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What Im gonna do for unit 7? was the first thinking that came to my mind, of course, but it is really really important to me to do something that it feels like me, that I feel so connected that I will be obssesed with it working all the time, even when Im sleeping in it. 

I started to going to some galleries, I ve been in all the important exhibition taking place at the moment so far, but maybe Im thinking in going back to some, as the Robert Rauschenberg, which was impressive and big. 

The one that caught my attention the most was ROOM at Sadie Coles, reflecting on what rooms mean to the different artist, and also what a room is?, some of them refered at something literal a room  as Nan Goldin approach, and what was happening inside there.

Others as Louise Bourgeois relates the word room to a place inside ours which relates to a common place or a kind of jail in our minds.

Both approaches really attracted me and I started to think about doing something related to time, and what it relates to the processes of time and how we are able to see it in an environment as can be a room. For example what first came to my mind was the child room that have grown up but the parents decide to keep it as it was. Its like an obsession with things remaining the same, although we all know that is impossible, and even they decide to dont move a single thing into the room, things decay.

So then I started looking at kids pretending to be adults, and adults pretending to be kids, which was a fun approach but I didnt find it so "mine" . So I was not please at that and was really really stressed. I am not finding anything that I love but at the same time the concept of time feels really right.



Yesterday my mom called me, she told me my grand grand mother is dying, my grandmother is really depressed and she is sad about it. 

My grand grand mother, is a person I really really love, but she is 97 now and its normal that she is passing away, but althogh in this process she is suffering, the doctors keep pushing her into the OR. My grandmother is dessesperated about it because she cant stand seeing her mother suffer anymore, but at the same time she will not ask the doctors to do it. 

I dont know if I should be putting things that personal here but this episode made me reflect on the thing I was talking about related to time. It is like we cant accept that time passes. There is an obsession in the human being with time (including me of course) that we dont want it to let it go, although its IMPOSSIBLE to change it!.



Yesterday night I watch the documentary "Grey Gardens". Now im obsessed with it, the aesthethic, the mother and daughter relationship, and also their attachment with time.

The documentary goes about a mother and a daughter living together in a mansion which is falling appart, it is in completely decadence, full of cats and flies.

They used to be socialites of new york, aspiring artists, and also relatives with Jackie Kennedy. That mean they are part of a wealthy family, which gives them money, but they decide to keep living in this place, although it is literally a swamp. At the same time they still believe they are goddess (they are) and dresses in eccentric ways, dance, sing. So interesting.

In some moments they show the filmmakers album pictures of their youth, showing the public how they used to be the typical rich beautiful perfect girls, and you can see how they speak with nostalgia but at the same time avoiding that time has passed away.

They have become jaded with the present and long for their lost youth. they are in decadence. 

When I finished the movie I was like MY PROJECT WILL BE ABOUT THIS, so so obsessed with everything of this two amazing characters.

Also it fits with the concept of attachment with time that I was bringing, but it has a turn, its like an "Eccentric Decadence", I love that, that will be the name of the project, eccentric decadence. SO poetic, love it.



 I went to the library and found a book called " Perennial Decay : on the aesthetics and politics of decadence" 

Reading about it I was able to clarify what does the word "Decadence" really means.  It has two sides, the one that relates with decline, decay, and loss of traditional values. That last sentence I love it,

And then the one related to "hedonistic, self indulgence, sexual trangessive, FAILED TO RESPECT NORMS".

I feel the part of "loss of traditional values, decay, and failed to respect norms" are the ones that are really close to my idea, altough I will have in mind everything.




I have been reading this book the whole weekend its really interesting. I like how they talk abou

t the different conceptions of the word "decadence" but how at the same time they both relates to each other. The book is also talking about artists depicting the "decadent lifestyle" and how this has been present from 1880 to the present.

I have been doing research in all the artists named on the book and the one that I think represent my idea the most are Brassai, Nan Goldin, Claude Cahun and Pierre Molinier.

Reflecting on what this lifestyle means, and the relationship it has to gender conceptions is something that I really really care about, since my beliefs are that gender is a social construction and we don't have to be determined neither define who we are.

They decadent lifestyle is always present on the demimonde of society, this is where I feel the most comfortable today in my life. When I used to live in Argentina I used to feel restrained by the social rules of my environment which I didn't respect. In London the "demimonde" is much more present and I feel this is a part of the society which involves self-acceptance and non judgment which I think is essential in today's world with all the social and politics issues we are going through.

Also very related to this, I went to the Wolfgang Tillmans exhibition, I literally cried of how much I liked it. I feel his approach to society its similar with the one I am taking to this project, depicting the "under" society, and also talking about political issues.

Other thing that I really like and inspired me about the exhibition was the way it was displayed, before coming there I was thinking about doing my sketchbook in separated A4 pages and then present them in a little box all together, but after the exhibition and seeing how he played with juxtaposition of images, blank spaces, and materiality I was drawn into using an A3 portrait sketchbook once again but this tame faced it in a new way, similar as how Wolfgang decide to present his exhibition. Besides this I will have the box I wanted to do but with a selection of images and materials, being more "picky" for this, and allowing me to express everything I want to try in the sketchbook.

I am wondering if I should start with sketchbook or keep putting all my energy in reading and researching so when I start with the sketchbook I will be more confident. I think wait maybe will be the best for now... I don't want to be behind everyone but I should focus in what is best for me. 





I have started my sketchbook. Since my concept is so broad and difficult to explain Im trying my best to clarify it by setting a Mood in my collages and drawings. I have been doing most of all collage and fabric manipulations so I need to start drawing more.

But because my main focus on the beginning of this week was to set the mood I have been working with the artists I choose most of all.

I have been experimenting a lot with the decay of materials into fabrics. Today I have a talk with my tutor and suggested me ideas for the part of "conservation" in my textiles development. I will try this and also I will start trying to come with shapes



I have been working with shapes taken most of all from Nan Goldin, Brassai, and Juergen Teller and Cindy Sherman photographs so today my tutor suggested me to look at dolls (I got some images of them from Cindy Sherman) But in general as secondary research and also because the self-indulgent style of dolls relates with my project.

Besides this I am really interested in using this contrast I have been seeing in the photographers that I named before where "classy" and sophisticated things are mixed and used with "Trashy" and dodgy garments or in environments that seem to not relate to this ones. 




I found a book about dolls in a creepy state and have garment ideas really really interesting, I will mixed this with the ones I got and start translating them into 3D in some way.. Also I have created a story for my project this will help me to create more fluidity within my sketchbook.




We did some exercises in class taking shapes from our sketchbook and sculptures we made with our research, Im trying to relate this to the ideas I had with my research and I came with cool drawings but Im not satisfied I think it looks too nothing and I want to send a strong message. I think the best thing to do is start experimenting in fabric with some techniques and then go into the body again to see how it looks

Also I feel that the idea of taking shapes from research does not work with me since for me the conceptual approach is more important that the structure one so I rather look at details and garments ideas or even in interior design that this really relates with the grey gardens ideas rather than just take a shape because of the sake of taking a shape.

I have been looking at images of drag queens using conservative dresses that are broken and show skin and I find in this images a lot of beautiful meaning.




Today we have a workshop that helped me a lot. We learned about gathering and volume and this techniques relates with my research about the creepy dolls and also with the dresses of 20s in Brassai images, I am imagining using gathering in see-through fabrics or in fabrics like net as in Nan Goldin and  Corinne Day pictures.

 I have bough and found some old curtains and pillow case and blankets. I will deconstruct them and also hot filmed them after doing some gathering into them, after this I will do more drawings and come with more ideas for my design development

Also I Want to drape with these since I feel that the idea of Grey Gardens where the characters of the documentary are literally their interiors and merge with them in amazing way can be translated as the individual becoming their own house. 




Im happy with how my fabrics are looking but I think I need something more neutral to combine them because its all so textural that I feel that in some point the eye will need to rest. 

I have been using different materials and experimenting with them, since one of the things that interestes me are the ripped surfaces Ive been trying different techniques to imitate this kind of "Crystallisation" that happens, the best try was the one where I mixed glue with salt and ink.

In terms of draping I will finish my samples and put in into the body recreating some things of my research to keep developing ideas since my work till now still a lot of textiles and mood stuff.



Today I have started doing some shapes and from that start doing design development also including all my research ideas on it. I think its going well but then I decided that it would be better to drape, so I started using my samples and fabrics and it was so much better than only doing it from shapes.




I developed a lot my designs from the drappings and Im trying to keep including research references to make it look more interesting, but what I am realising is that it would be better if I keep developing my research to another side, the thing its that this its being complicated. Also to be honest I have been pretty sad these days, I hope this doesn't make my work worst but I will keep working as much as im doing it. 

What I am starting to realise is that sometimes I am to conceptual, which I don't think its bad but in order to develop my project in more successful pathways it would be better to at the same time research in things more deeply I mean, if I found a still of the move daises which I'm doing research on that has something that in terms of "shapes" or something in particular relates keep going into that direction so in that way I will have more references for my design developments, I always focus a lot in the mood of the project and relied a lot on this and drawings. From now on, (I will have my tutorial tomorrow so after this) I will try to dig in more in this way to see if I can make it work better.

Also another issue I am noticing is that I need to be clearer with my collar palette. Although I am not changing it all the time neither doing crazy things, it goes sometimes in one direction and sometimes in other which I think its okey but now I  need to clarify it in order to be more refined when Im doing my fabric selections and my combinations. The thing its that sometimes its hard to find the materials that have the colours I need and also its quiet expensive, but I will find the way to resolve this problem

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